To Forget or To Hold
by Teddy R. Lupin
Summary: The Board of Directors refuses to trust Tony, though Pepper insists her husband knows what he's doing. But there's more going on inside Tony's head. He still is not over the fact that his parents are dead. And...he doesn't want to do it wrong. One-shot


Hey guys! Well, after a long break (Fine, I had finals) I'm back in action. Or back to writing. Either way.

In other news, SCHOOL'S OUT! Thank GOD-AP EURO IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

Um...yeah.

So this is a continuation of my Promotion series, so yes, Pepper is still CEO of SI. I hope I did a good job with the meeting scene, since I don't normally write stuff like that. But I'd like to, just to make my stories more rounded. :)

It can be read separately, though. Just know that Jason is Tony and Pepper's son.

-IRON MAN-

**Stark Industries**

**Los Angeles, California**

"No, Mr. Stark does not-" Pepper argued, before being cut off by the head of the R&D department. She groaned and leaned back in her chair.

"We're talking about a man who destroyed his company because of supposed post-traumatic stress," he continued, his horn-rimmed glasses sliding down his nose. He impatiently shoved them up again. "And then…what? He promotes his little girlfriend as CEO!" He glared pointedly in Pepper's direction, and she did her best to ignore him. "And we're trying to keep this company running!"

"With all due respect, Mr. Simmons, Tony has always-" she tried again, only to be interrupted again.

"Since when has Stark given a shit about his family's company?" Simmons asked her, his arms folded across his chest. "He's only ever been our public face." Pepper frowned to herself. That wasn't true. Tony had invented nearly everything that the company marketed. And Simmons knew that.

"Ever since Mr. Stark's experience in Afghanistan, he has become increasingly interested in the company's profit," she answered evenly, staring at the indignant man, who looked as he had just swallowed something sour.

"How do any of us know, Ms. Potts, that he is purely doing what pleases him, without a care towards what the company earns from it?" Simmons asked. Pepper paused for a moment, not even noticing that once again, he had failed to recognize the fact that she was not Tony Stark's 'little girlfriend,' but his wife.

"If you cared enough to notice, Mr. Simmons, you would see that what Mr. Stark does for himself is also of benefit to the company," Pepper answered once again, keeping her voice calm, though her patience was running low. "He is deeply involved in his work, and what's best for SI is what's best for him."

"Then he spends millions building a high-tech weapons system and flies it halfway around the world to destroy weapons that he built!" Simmons said pointedly, continuing to glare at the redhead, whose face was flushing.

"I know his record is faulty," she said. "I worked for years as his PA before being promoted to CEO. I can understand that you are reluctant to trust him. But Mr. Stark is doing everything he can to raise the-"

"She's right," agreed a familiar voice, one that had entered from the door. Pepper turned around and rolled her eyes, sighing exasperatedly. Taking a seat next to her, Tony gave her a subtle wink.

"So you did show up," she muttered, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Told you I would," he whispered back, squeezing her hand under the table. "Mission took longer than I thought. Simmons being a dick?" Pepper held back a laugh.

"He's one of our employees, Tony," she admonished him. "We both know he doesn't like you. So try not to make him hate you more." He smirked.

"Seriously, though," Tony continued. "What's he doing this time?"

"He's holding Iron Man against you," she whispered. "It's good you showed up when you did. You have a certain way with people." He gave her a sideways glance as his mouth twisted into a smile. Then Pepper frowned, a thought occurring to her. "Wait. You left Jason alone?"

"Yes, of course, I'm completely irresponsible," he hissed sarcastically, earning another eye roll from his wife. He handed her a slim metal recorder and thumbed it on. "Whenever I'm on a mission, I'm monitoring the feed. I had Jarvis fix this for you." The video was a live feed that showed their ten-month-old son sleeping peacefully. "See? He's fine."

She smiled appreciatively, earning a smug grin from Tony.

"Contrary to popular belief…" he said under his breath warily looking around at the other Board members who were watching him as well.

"…You know exactly what you're doing," Pepper finished, still careful to keep her voice down. Simmons had stopped talking to let the head of Accounting make his presentation. "You don't need any more reasons for him to be pissed at you," she told Tony, nodding at Simmons. "Pay attention." He gave her a subtle nod and a smile.

He gently slipped an arm around her waist as the lights dimmed for the PowerPoint presentation from Accounting, and felt her muscles relax. Tony grimaced, knowing how much stress Simmons constantly caused the both of them.

_Believe me, Pepper, I know. I hate him as much as you do._

-IRON MAN-

**That night, Stark Mansion**

**Malibu, California**

Tony smiled softly as he leaned on the side of the doorway to his son's nursery. His eyes traveled to the far corner of the room, which was covered in posters of racecars and a desk that held a miniature model of Tony's own hot rod that he had worked on with his father. He smiled wistfully, looking beside it and realizing there was a photo of him and his father working on the car that the elder had so treasured. A silent tear slipped down his cheek.

_He never saw it finished. And I…I can't just finish it. It'd be wrong…wouldn't it?_

Tony's eyes darted to his son, who turned over in his sleep, his dark hair ruffling even more. For just a moment, he tried to remember what his own childhood had been like.

_But I can't. There isn't anything to remember…is there?_

"Hey," he heard a quiet voice say, as an arm slipped around his waist. Tony wiped his eye and turned around, wrapping Pepper into a warm hug.

"Hey," he responded.

"Thought I'd find you here," Pepper said, looking up, a bright smile highlighting her features. When he smiled back only half-heartedly, her grin turned into a confused frown. "Tony, what's wrong?" He forced another smile, though it faded as quickly as the first.

"Nothing," he answered, sighing heavily. "I'm fine."

"Just thinking?"

"Yeah," Tony confirmed. He looked down at her and smiled again, this one more real. "Hey…did I ever tell you…that of all the things that me and my father didn't do…what we _did _do was work on the hot rod?"

"Probably," she answered honestly, "But you can tell me again."

"Nah," he said with a quiet laugh. "It'll get technical…I don't feel much like explaining."

"That doesn't sound like you," Pepper said, her frown deepening. She grasped his shoulder gently. "Tony-"

"Everything makes so much more sense in my head," he muttered, almost more to himself than to anyone.

Knowing better than to question, she simply asked, "What else is bothering you?" Pepper bit her lip and looked up at Tony's pensive face. "It seems like there's more to this hot rod story than you're letting on."

_There's so much to it, Pepper_, he wanted to admit. But he couldn't. How could he admit…that he was just a coward? How could he say that…he still couldn't accept that they were gone? How could he?

"I don't understand," she prodded softly, her hand still resting on his shoulder. "I've known you for nearly fifteen years, Tony. It's never bothered you before…has it?" Tony frowned, thinking back.

He hadn't thought about it much…had he?

_I'd thought that my past was just a distant memory. But maybe all I ever did was bury it. I never confronted it…still more…a coward. _

As he looked up at his sleeping son, Tony gritted his teeth.

"I wasn't a father before," he responded finally, his voice barely louder than silence. "I don't want to do it wrong."

"You're not doing anything wrong," Pepper said firmly.

"I don't want to be the dad that mine was," he finally admitted, staring back at the photograph. "Mostly."

"Tony…" she tried to say, "Tony, you're a wonderful father."

"How do you know?" he asked bitterly, staring down at his shoes. He stuffed his hands in his pockets shamefully. "I'm going to fuck up…again. Just like I always do."

"You won't," Pepper said sternly, forcing one of his hands into her own. "I see the expression on your face whenever you look at Jason. It's clear that you love him. You'll do anything to protect him from harm. You're going to train him to be like you…teach him all the right ways to get on my nerves…"

Tony laughed, a fully true smile appearing on his face. "Pepper…I'd honestly be lost without you." He kissed her lips lightly, but she continued the kiss until they were both out of breath. She leaned on his chest and sighed quietly.

"I love you, Tony," she said softly. "I hope you know that."

"I do know," Tony answered, grinning to himself. "I love you, Pepper. You know…if it wasn't for you…I don't think I ever would've survived Afghanistan." Her eyes opened wide as she looked up into his deep brown irises.

"Even then?" she asked, and he nodded slowly.

"I think so," he realized. "Yinsen asked me if I had a family, and-"

"Yinsen?"

Tony looked up and smiled gently. "The man who changed my life," he explained simply. "I told him I didn't. And he said I was a man with everything…and nothing. I think…that was when I truly realized what you meant to me. I had _a lot_ of time to think when I was over there…and I saw from a different point of view, how much _shit_ you'd put up with the past ten years…just because of me." He took her hands in his and squeezed them lightly. "Pep, I can never be sorry enough."

"It was so hard for me every time, Tony," she admitted quietly. "I was so close to quitting…so many times…you have no idea how much it hurt me, every time you came home drunk…" She broke off, a few tears falling from her clear blue eyes. Tony took her into his arms as she continued to talk, her voice trembling. "God, it scared me to death. I didn't know whether you'd end up killing yourself…or…" She shuddered as he held onto her thin figure firmly. He looked into her eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I never meant to hurt you," he said quietly, his voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry."

"It's the past…isn't it?" Pepper asked with a shrug. "We can just move on with our future…right?"

"Yeah," Tony answered, though…in his mind…there were some things he wasn't sure that he was quite ready to let go of. "Just the past." She smiled slightly and kissed his cheek.

"I'm going to bed," she said, her voice gentle. "Don't stay up too late, Tony." He watched her walk down the hall and sighed heavily.

_I think some things are just too difficult to forget, Pepper._

_Maybe…there are just a few memories I want to keep._

As Tony quietly closed the door to Jason's room, he wiped another tear from his eye.

_Or maybe the past is just too painful._

_Maybe I don't want to remember at all._

-IRON MAN-

So, contrary to what the ending seems, this IS a one-shot. So I'm not going to write another chapter to this one. Maybe another one-shot will follow, but I'm not sure. Probably not.

What'd you guys think? Please remember to review.

And I've gotten 15 people to join the dark side. The cookies are amazingly good.

Thanks,

William D. J. Watson


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